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This thread is about the article "I was never Just a Girl!"
The price of silence
Gender bias is founded on the principle of silence. Silence that we wont speak out against injustice. Being silent makes each one of us complicit in the biased environment.
But you know Wobi, you have to have courage to speak out and in your first job it's particularly difficult. Organizations need to have mentoring programs in place and assign mentors to new recruits. Urmila says her company is very young. If the average age is 24, they won't even have seniors who can take on this role. What is a girl to do in such a situation? Companies will lose good talent if they are not careful.
I agree Chiliburst...didnt mean to sound like I was criticizing the author. If anything, I agree completely. Its hard at any stage in one's career to tackle this issue...more so if its a first job.
SAY NO to BRO-Culture
OK ladies...no one wants to rock the boat but here's another good reason to stand your ground against MCPs
Ellen Pao, a Harvard-educated attorney with the Silicon Valley venture capital firm Kleiner Perkins (Netscape, Amazon. Google anyone?) filed a sex discrimination lawsuit against the company last month - fending off sexual advances, retaliation when she resisted - sound familiar? All this in progressive hi-tech California!
But here's a telling comment - a male exec Randy Komisar, told her that women would never succeed at Kleiner "because women are quiet."
SPEAK UP - NIP that first advance in the bud - don't EVER let it be the elephant in the room. Here is a link to the NYT article that ran the story
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/03/technology/lawsuit-against-kleiner-perkins-is-shaking-silicon-valley.html?pagewanted=all
http://abovethelaw.com/2012/06/high-profile-sex-discrimination-suit-shines-ugly-light-on-silicon-valley-bro-culture/
OK ladies...no one wants to rock the boat but here's another good reason to stand your ground against MCPs
Ellen Pao, a Harvard-educated attorney with the Silicon Valley venture capital firm Kleiner Perkins (Netscape, Amazon. Google anyone?) filed a sex discrimination lawsuit against the company last month - fending off sexual advances, retaliation when she resisted - sound familiar? All this in progressive hi-tech California!
But here's a telling comment - a male exec Randy Komisar, told her that women would never succeed at Kleiner "because women are quiet."
SPEAK UP - NIP that first advance in the bud - don't EVER let it be the elephant in the room. Here is a link to the NYT article that ran the story
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/03/technology/lawsuit-against-kleiner-perkins-is-shaking-silicon-valley.html?pagewanted=all
http://abovethelaw.com/2012/06/high-profile-sex-discrimination-suit-shines-ugly-light-on-silicon-valley-bro-culture/
I agree with both of you chilliburst and wobi. Silence is a woman's own enemy and at the same time a young girl at a new job needs a comfortable environment to speak up. Corporations need to change to provide equal access and opportunities to all employees, regardless of race or gender.
Our challenge is to figure out what we need to adapt to in order to gain credibility, and then change accordingly. If you're too "nice", you are stepped over, if you're too "demanding", you're seen as a bitch. This is one of the current realities that we need to work to change.
Our challenge is to figure out what we need to adapt to in order to gain credibility, and then change accordingly. If you're too "nice", you are stepped over, if you're too "demanding", you're seen as a bitch. This is one of the current realities that we need to work to change.
So srh & eyinthesky, in Urmila's situation, would you let your boss know that you are unhappy about being passed over? I find it particularly hard to deal with jokes and innuendos, not sure quite how to respond. It's not outright harassment but can leave you feeling slighted. If you object, you will be seen as a wet blanket. It might be an idea to form a womens group to deal with sexism if your employer does not have anything in place. Gives you more strength, bit like a union.
Chilliburst, here is what I would do personally (and I have): I would go to my boss, and ask him to tell me what it would take for me, or would have taken me, to get that project.
Ask him to draw firm metrics on what it takes for you to get a project or be promoted to the next level. Once those metrics are drawn, you ask to work towards those metrics and if you feel you are already there, you then politely ask why you have not gotten it yet. This makes for a positive approach.
Remember noone likes complaining, whining or negativity. Keep those away!! Approach everything positively and confidently.
I have been in the corporate world for 17 years. And I attribute my confidence (which is acquired slowly) for my success in the Boys Club. ANd being in the Medical/Clinical field in the US, for me its even more to swim against - "a white boys club" .
Ask him to draw firm metrics on what it takes for you to get a project or be promoted to the next level. Once those metrics are drawn, you ask to work towards those metrics and if you feel you are already there, you then politely ask why you have not gotten it yet. This makes for a positive approach.
Remember noone likes complaining, whining or negativity. Keep those away!! Approach everything positively and confidently.
I have been in the corporate world for 17 years. And I attribute my confidence (which is acquired slowly) for my success in the Boys Club. ANd being in the Medical/Clinical field in the US, for me its even more to swim against - "a white boys club" .
Yes, speak up. Otherwise you'll never know. And it's difficult to stay positive when you want to chop their ba**s off instead but take a deep breath, calm down, stay objective and talk first. You may be surprised by the response.
Well said SRH. Hats off to you to make it in the corporate world. Its hard for women in the best of times I think. More so when there are subtle racial lines to negotiate as well.
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